floating

I’ve been busy, but not busy. I’ve been sleeping poorly.  It takes me a long time to fall asleep, and then when I do fall asleep, I have nightmares.
I tapered down my meds myself because I couldn’t find a decent psychiatrist. My emotions have been noticeably more raw lately, but I have been holding myself [...]

fat

fatty fat.

trains, pains, and traveling pants

I am in Kansas until Friday, visiting my nephew, sister, and brother in law. I took the train. I edited part of a play manuscript, read some of John Gardner’s book for young novelists, and listened to a lot of Dan Savage’s lovecasts. It was strange to leave from Union Station, because I hadn’t been [...]

what’s happening, currently

Last night I dreamt about hugging cute boys. And playing Beatles Rock Band with them.
Many things are happening, and I am trying to manage them without losing my mind. I have a second appointment with my new therapist lined up. I will soon be calling in-network psychiatrists for my medicines. I’m really looking forward to [...]

one out of one therapists agree

My new therapist heartily agreed that xb is/was/is a manipulative, delusional asshole who needs to stay the fuck away from me.
Also, the security guard for her building commented on my resemblance to Christina Ricci. I am always amused when people notice that.

doctor, doctor

I begin seeing my new in-network therapist tomorrow. I am ever so excited. Gee, I sure am tired of being mentally ill. It’s not fun like you see in the movies.

FOR FUCK’S SAKE

xb emailed my friend’s husband, to whine about how he (xb) needed to be able to be friends with my friend’s husband so xb’s career could flourish. Or something to that effect. The point is HE EMAILED MY FRIEND.
I’m a fucking crazy bitch, and even I have managed to not email any of his exclusive [...]

shut. the fuck. up. you fucker.

Ugh. So much idiotic drama going on. xb has once again reared his stupid-ass head. He friended by best and oldest friend in Chicago on Facebook recently, and I had a panic attack after seeing his face below a post of hers that he’d commented on (it doesn’t help that his profile picture is from [...]

mania, of the anxious kind

This is a panicked letter I sent to my sister. It’s a prime example of the anxiety I’ve been feeling lately, and the sort of deep shit you can get yourself into when one of the symptoms of your mania is careless spending sprees. Such sprees aren’t always big ticket items; often it’s just an [...]

oy! librarian in crisis!

I am a children’s librarian in the midst of SUMMER READING! Which means, oh, my god, I am losing my mind. I am swarmed by children most of the day, signing them up for the program, explaining how the program works, etc and so forth.
I do have several tales to tell, though: Sideburns and his [...]