Oy. This is my third day home from work. I felt pretty good yesterday, after my kajillion hours of sleep, but then I woke up this morning with a sore throat and intense cigarette and whisky voice. So I said fuck it and took a third sick day.
I can hear someone across the hall doing something to the recently vacated apartment. I think the floors are being refinished and the radiators are being taken out. This is, mind you, about a month after the new heating was put in. I do not want to wait a month to have all of the shit finished in my apartment, which is why I- and my two neighbors on the north side of the building- are refusing to let our landlord make the “repairs”. I put repairs in quotes because the radiators we have currently work just fine, it is just that our landlord is cheap and doesn’t want to pay for heat anymore. Nor does he want to give us the option of not being in the apartment while the work is being done. Nor does he think it is inappropriate to come see us at 9 o’clock at night to whine at us about how we are causing trouble for him.
So again I have been tempted into looking at apartment ads on Craigslist. I really love looking at apartment ads, but I do loathe moving. I will not move any time soon, but I do think I will move when my lease is up… I’ve decided I need to move closer to my job, and somewhere that makes it easier for Seth to get to via public transportation.
Speaking of Seth, as of December 16th we’ll have been “together” nine months. I put together in quotes because he defines himself as single and I think of myself as being in an “open” relationship. I am mostly okay with this, except for certain times when I get down on myself, and wonder what it is about me that is so fundamentally unlovable. I know I am not unlovable, and that it is his problem and not mine, but still, sometimes…
But back to the apartment… there are lots of cheaper places available now, and moving in the cold of winter is actually a smart move since landlords will cut all sorts of deals to move their properties, but still… I need to remember that it would be foolish to move right now. Maybe February, or March… my lease isn’t up until May, but May is a competitive time for renting.
Argh.
Despite all that crap, things are good. I am still a total retard when it comes to money, but things are getting better slowly.
Now I am going to go think about changing out of my pajamas and doing some laundry.
1 Comment
December 12, 2008 at 7:13 pm
I’m sorry that you don’t feel well… Bummer. The smokey voice evokes a certain sexiness that I can really appreciate though. Don’t be too down on either yourself or Seth. You’re both young and should explore your options.
Believe me when I write that it’s better to do that now than to realize in a decade that you aren’t done “exploring” yet. Imagine how bad you feel now and multiply it by a factor 10. That’s where the real fun begins, and it’s called divorce. I went through that and it was BAD, and (thank God) no kids were involved or I imagine it would have been more like a factor of 100 (hemlock please).
If I knew everything I wouldn’t be divorced, but experience does lend a lot of merit. Remain open to new experiences and people. You might not find anyone that does for you what Seth does, then again you might do better (or Seth might come around like my new wife did)… And always keep in mind that even if you and Seth become a happy couple all people change over time. The trick is to find someone who changes in ways that compliment the ways that you change. That’s not easy, but when it happens it’s a truly wonderful thing.
I wish you the best of luck.