bad decision dinosaurs
That’s what we would be, if we interacted at this point. I’m sorry, but if we haven’t run into each other for six months now, I don’t see why it is inevitable that we will do so in the future. The city is vast–it contains multitudes. And there are plenty of other people, places, and things—librarians included—between me and thee, and that is a good thing, since I know I still probably have intensely problematic boundary issues. Or maybe I don’t. Maybe it would be fine. But I don’t really have the emotional or mental energy to test that theory right now.
you said once that we made better lovers than friends, and since we both know how spectacularly we ended up failing as lovers, I don’t think doing the default dance into friendship is a wise choice. At the moment I am incapable of investing time and effort into a relationship that has a history of disintegrating into an emotional minefield. There are plenty of other people in the city that you can talk to about Doctor Who and Battlestar Gallactica, people who won’t ultimately end up pissing you off. I can’t handle that anymore. I never could, but especially not now.
The box of your stuff is too big to mail. I could drop it off at some point. But I would like you to come by and do something with the bike parts. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable request to make. I don’t know that there’s anything I can do to alleviate your feelings that you would be skulking like a criminal. Perhaps you could think of it as doing me a favor. Short declarative sentences.
I don’t want to run the risk of being hurtful or hurt right now. I’m sure you can respect that I am not comfortable interacting with you on a friendship level at this time, even minimally. I can’t trust myself to behave and control my emotions, and I don’t believe that inflicting that stress on you and the significant people in your life is appropriate.
If you can take the time to come sort out what you want to keep and toss what you don’t want at all, I will make the time to drive the stuff you want to your apartment for you.
thanks-
[Iris]
April 29, 2008 at 6:26 pm
You know after reading the excerpt from him message I might have just told in a relatively polite way to bite me. Who the hell cares if you do run into each other. Do you have any idea how many ex’s I had running around our hometown. Plenty. And most of them I didn’t mind running into but even the few I had nothing to say to weren’t a problem. You just politely ignore each other. Perhaps no one told him that the “friends after the fact” relationship is not a birthright. I would give him a reasonable deadline and let him know that if he doesn’t take care of his stuff then you’ll be sending it along to goodwill.
And if you’re feeling like being particularly nasty explain to him as sweetly as possible that you simply aren’t interested in being his friend. Imply that the reason for your lack of interest is because he’s intellectually sub par or whatever personality trait he might think is most endearing isn’t quite what likes to believe.
But that’s me and we both know I’m not a good person. Inside or otherwise.